Courage (also called bravery or valor) is the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation. Physical courageous courage in the face of physical pain, hardship, death or threat of death, while moral courage is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, discouragement, or personal loss
These bodies of work are a display of my journey, discovering my our self-worth to find the courage to forgive myself. To realize my past does not define who I am, and to stop taking responsible for why the abuse happened to me. It wasn't because I was any less of a person or I wasn't strong. It happened. These pieces display the courage of discussing to my loved ones why I was so ashamed to ask for help. To keep the lie alive that everything is wonderful.
Glitter: The unconscious mind
Circles: Cycles of abuse but starting to work through the cycles and claiming it did happen
Bird(s): One bird signifies victims of abuse being set free, or the knowledge of hope. Two birds signify partnerships (for good, bad or indifferent). Three birds mean the Holy Sprit, God, and Christ.
The price we pay to keep a secret
The price we pay to stay silent
The price we pay to look the other way
The price we pay to say, "It’s not my business."
The price we give to hold back
The price Christ gave for us to be forgiven
The price that was paid for us to feel grace
The price that offered to all of us (Psalm 16:8 AMP)
The price we ALL pay.
This body of work has been created to illustrate the heavy price paid by victims of domestic abuse. Even after the abuse has stopped, the suffering continues for many. For some the pain is permanent. Speaking as a victim of domestic abuse, I must work through my memories, emotions and endure the psychological disorders I have as a result.
I currently live a peaceful, calm and balanced life - but some days my past will haunt me. In 2012 I was committed for attempted suicide. Treatment helped me greatly and gradually I began to feel safe again, but the psychological burden of the violence I suffered will still rear its ugly head and I will start to remember these harrowing events in a “flood of emotions.” This body of works began in June 2015. The first memory arose on a warm summer morning where I found myself panicking from the ghosts of my past. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. For ten short minutes, in the clutches of sheer terror, I had no idea where I was. This body of works I hope will display those feelings and the recovery progress.
Glitter: Represents the unconscious mind
Circles: Represent the cycles of abuse
Bird(s): One bird signifies victims of abuse being set free, or hope. Two birds signify partnerships (for good, bad or indifferent). Three birds represent the Holy Trinity; the Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost
Lines: Represent my and other victims’ experiences of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, mental illness as well as limited finances and other psychological problems after leaving the abusive relationship - my feelings of entrapment
Splatter paint: Represents the isolation and shame I felt
I started this “journey home” in the winter of 2012 when I discovered an amazing support group of people who love me for who I am; they have been instrumental in my healing process. They did not judge me based on my past choices, they helped shaped my life as it is now, but most importantly they gave me love when I was most in need. Love and forgiveness have enabled me to forgive bad relationships from the past. They have made it possible for me to generate my own self-worth and to forgive myself. These pieces are about the progression from forgiving and letting go of the fear, to finding self-worth and learning to love one’s self.
Works: Each piece represents a time in space where I was working on forgiving a person as well as the agonizing process of letting go. Until now, I wasn’t ready to forgive. I was full of fear: “If all I have is hate, what will I have?”
Let Go. Let Love In. Let’s start again.
Glitter: The unconscious mind
Circles: Cycles of abuse
Bird(s): One bird signifies Forgiveness. Two birds mean partnerships (for good, bad or indifferent). Three birds signify the Holy Sprit, God, and Christ. Many birds signify Hope.